If you are interested in self-improvement, you spend a lot of time knowing what you want out of life. Many times, it is not a lack of opportunity that prevents you from getting what you want, but your own perceived limitations. So they say that you have to get out of yourself to fulfill your heart’s desires. So, how do you get what you want out of life? Here are eight ways.
1. Be brave.
You have to step outside your comfort zone to get what you want. This is true in all areas of work, romance and life. When I think of happy couples that I have known, for example, they are doing something that scares them, such as an improv class or a solo vacation.
When we extend ourselves in this way, we are opened to endless possibilities and opportunities. But, if we get stuck in our routine and refuse to take risks and try something new, those doors remain closed to us.
2. Tell people what you want.
Ask for what you want and you can get it. Do not ask and the answer is always no. When you tell people what you want, you invite them into your world which makes them feel invested in your success. Now that they know what you want, they can help you reach your goals.
Sharing your heart’s desires with another person makes those goals seem more real and attainable. Writing them gives the same effect. Therefore, the purpose of your life is at the same time that you tell others about them that your chances of success are double.
3. Others be focused.
It is the right thing to think about others regardless of their reasons. And we should never leave a helping hand with hopes of a return. But focusing on others instead of yourself can also benefit you. The law of reciprocity means that what you give comes back to you. Whether it is from the same person who helped you, or anywhere else, it is a fundamental law of the universe. Regardless of your intentions, people like to remember that you gave them a helping hand and want to return the favor.
4. Know your strengths and weaknesses.
We’ve all heard the cliché. You can do anything to set your mind. But, this is not always true. If you are 5’5 ″, you are unlikely to become a star basketball player. Knowing what you are good at will help you develop your skills in the areas that drive you to success. Instead of pounding on a closed door, you will easily push the way to your unique talents and abilities.
5. Put your feelings first.
One of the big reasons we set goals is that we believe they are going to make us feel a certain way. Happy, proud, enthusiastic, complete. But when we reach the goal and do not follow those feelings, we feel that we must go in search of the next goal to fill.
What if instead we set goals for the way we want to feel? This means that you can feel a certain way through random matrices without having to earn it. Tony Robbins says emotions drive us, so if you put emotions first, your positive mindset will go a long way towards helping you get out of life.
6. Make outrageous requests.
A common negotiation strategy says that you ask for more than you want, and some say that the request should be large enough that it makes you small. You may not get any for that first abusive request, but when you comply with a small demand, you will get a yes. And that second request was more in line with what you wanted anyway.
7. Use Semantics.
Use words to your advantage when asking for something. When selling a product, for example, we talk about an offer rather than a product for sale. This gives the buyer the feeling that he (your product) is getting (your money) instead of losing something.
8. Export to get what you want.
Psychologist Janice Wilhur says that we act based on what we expect, rather than what we want. There is often a disconnect between our true desires and what we hope to achieve. In an effort to save us from the pain of despair, our subconscious mind will lower our expectations and we will act according to those instead of pursuing our big dreams.
Expect something better than you got in the past by overriding automatic thoughts with your conscious mind. Elite athletes do this by imagining themselves winning the big game. When you change your expectations you change your life in ways that help you achieve your goals.
Laura Connell is the author of It’s not your fault: subconscious reasons we self-sabotage and how to stop. Her work appeared in Chicken Soup in the Soul, Possibility Change and The Self Improvement Blog. Take a 1 minute quiz to find your purpose here.
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